For months now, I have been struggling with the age-old problem of "not enough". Or, more accurately, not enough contentment. Happiness is dependent on circumstances and things, but contentment is in spite of those things. Contentment leads to joy, and true joy is in the midst of trials or difficulties. While I know this in my head, I have been struggling with realizing it in my heart. It is not a resting on my life's circumstances for happiness, it is a choice to be content.
So, starting this month, I have been choosing contentment. I have been deciding to have a thankful attitude, to appreciate all the many blessings that God has given me, to be "joyful in spirit". Isn't it funny how, once we decide to do something right, obstacles come out of nowhere? (lol) I have spent the past three weeks in bed with a virus that I'd never even heard of, battling fatique and muscle aches like never before. But, with God's grace, I am able now to thank Him for the time in bed. I am truly thankful!
I was able to spend hours just thinking about the many things that God has done for me, about what a wonderful husband I have been blessed with, about each of my children and how special they are to me. I was able to truly appreciate friends who went out of their way to help in our time of need, to pray (for hours on end!) thanking God for the many, many ways that He meets our needs every day. I have a new appreciation for those who will never feel better, who face illness and pain that will never go away. No longer do I take it for granted that I will do what's "on my list" each day. I have realized (again) that it is all a matter of perspective. And for that (and more!) I am thankful.
Sometimes gifts come in the most unusual packages. This one was truly a gift from God.